


Whole Again

by SapphicLove



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Injury, Loss, Prison, Recovery, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:47:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25736776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicLove/pseuds/SapphicLove
Summary: The Aftermath of the Timeless Child, where the Doctor is trapped in the Judoon Prison and Yaz struggles to cope with life without the Doctor.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	1. Whole Again - Life after you

As the Doctor stared out into the vast void of space through the small window in her cell, her brains struggled to comprehend everything the universe had thrown at her. The Master. The Timeless Child. Why was she here? Her Fam. She spent the first few hours desperately trying to find a way out, there must be surely. She’s the Doctor. Or is she? “No can’t start thinking like that, I know who I am. I need to get out and find my Fam.” She reminds herself. Her sonic screwdriver wasn’t working, every inch of her cell was secure. 

The Doctor slumped to the floor in disbelief. She was trapped, all alone, and her Fam thought she was dead. All she could think about was the pain and sadness in Yaz’s eyes when she tried to stop her. Her thoughts swirled through her brains until it burned up into anger and fear. She jumped up and lunged at what could be a door. She started kicking the wall until all she could hear was her heartbeats drumming. Suddenly she felt a sting on the side of her neck, she reached to it and felt a dart sticking out. She ripped it out and shouted at the ceiling “Give me a chance!”. The Doctor felt her body slowing down as her vision started fading out. Her legs gave way, and she lay, staring out to the window. Hoping that her fam made it back safe, especially Yaz.

This became a regular routine for the Doctor, she would wake up, look at the repulsive food that materialised and try to find something, anything, that could help her escape. Each time as her anxieties built greater, her control grew weaker, and she would kick and punch the walls in frustration. Only temporarily would the numbness from adrenaline and hurting her hands give her some release. But each time the dart would get her, she saw it almost like a game, to see if she could dodge them. Yet they never seemed to miss, and the Doctor would be dragged back to her sedated sleep. Eventually, it was no longer a game or a challenge. It just seemed like finally, she couldn’t run anymore, this was her life now. Forced to deal with the consequences of her past dozen lives. The Doctor lay in the corner of her cell, time now seemed irrelevant, as she thought over every person she had hurt, or who had died due to the Doctor. Maybe it was better this way, at least Yaz would be safe.

//

Back in Yorkshire, after losing the Doctor, the Fam all dealt with their loss differently. Ryan seemed convinced that there was nothing they could do and instead spent more time with his friend Tibo. Graham was quiet, he also didn’t think there was any way the Doc was still alive, he spent his time at home watching TV, drinking tea and meeting his old Bus friends. But Yaz couldn’t understand how they were able to slip back into normal life, after everywhere the Doctor had taken then and everything the doctor had done for them, for Earth. At first, Yaz tried asking the Tardis that had brought them home for help, but this Tardis didn’t seem to respond the Doctors did. Then she looked online, for any signs of strange things occurring. But there was still no sign of the Doctor. Her family tried to cheer Yaz up, but everything just felt wrong without the doctor, like a huge part of her was missing. 

Eventually, Yaz had to go back to work, her heart wasn’t in it, she found herself searching every blonde woman’s face that she passed, hoping that the Doctor would fall into her life again. But she didn’t. Yaz would find herself dreaming of the Doctor, all the happy and brilliant memories of her and the Doctor travelling. She did her best to keep in contact with Graham and Ryan, but it felt wrong with the gang incomplete. As the days turned into weeks, then months Yaz the distance between them grew, and Yaz hadn’t felt this alone in all her life.

Yaz was finishing her shift late one evening, slowly making her way back home to sit with her family and do her best to be like the ‘old Yaz’. As she turned back to Park Hill, suddenly the most glorious noise snapped Yaz out of her depressive void, and she hopefully searched for the Tardis. She couldn’t believe it, the doctor was back!

“Oh, Doctor!” She called out happily, ignoring any strange looks her neighbours would give her.

As Yaz ran closer and closer to the Tardis she wondered why she wasn’t at the door yet, she reached those homely doors and didn’t bother knocking, it was her home. She stepped inside and searched for those gorgeous blue eyes, but couldn’t find them. Instead, the Tardis was dark, with red lights blaring across the console room. Yaz was scared, she’d never seen the Tardis like this before. As she made her way to the screen, she saw several languages with messages flashing.

“What’s happening? Where’s the Doctor?” Yaz asked quickly.

The Tardis beeped back and highlighted the messages again.

“I can’t read it! Please show me it in English, Earth English!” Yaz felt her heart racing and her head pounding, something was wrong, she knew it.

Finally the Tardis beeped and whooshed and Yaz could read the message. 

THE DOCTOR HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED. I HAVE FOUND HER BUT NEED YOU TO RESCUE HER. 

As Yaz read it her blood ran cold, the Tardis needed her, a simple human, to save the most important person in the universe. 

SHE WAS TAKEN BY THE JUDOON. I WILL TAKE YOU THERE. USE THIS TO BRING HER BACK.

Suddenly a panel Yaz had never noticed before popped open, Yaz rushed over and looked inside, she saw what looked like a watch with a big button, a small keycard and a small note. It read. ‘I know you think Vortex Manipulators are cheap and nasty form of time travel, but I told the Tardis to keep it case you get yourself in trouble like usual. Oh and I thought you might like my SkeletoCard, not quite as smooth as your sonic screwdriver but handy as a spare! Captain Jack Harkness XX’ 

Yaz almost laughed with Joy. Finally, there was hope, some way for her to find the Doctor. She put the Vortex thingy on her wrist and turned back to the console. Just as she was about to ask how to get to the Judoon a bright light appeared and Yaz felt herself getting transported, not too different from her experience with the Kasaavins.

//

Yaz blinked her eyes and looked around and saw she was in a corridor, it was dark and smelt damp. She was alone but could hear people calling out for help and shouting. She slowly made her way down the corridor checking each id card hanging on them. As she made her way deeper and deeper into this strange place without finding the Doctor the anxiety in her stomach grew worse. Finally, she saw a picture of the Doctor, and the hope flourished inside her. She quickly grabbed the Card that Jack had left and held it up against the id card. To her joy, it beeped green and the door opened. Finally, Yaz thought, I’ve found the Doctor. 

She stepped into the room and her heart sunk, in the dark cell she could just about make out a figure lying in the corner. She made her way over to her and knelt next to her.  
“Doctor, it’s me, Yaz! I’ve found you. Wake up.” Yaz shook the Doctors shoulders, but she didn’t respond.  
Yaz grew concerned, she reached out her phone and turned on its flashlight. Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw. The Doctor’s face was pale, her hair was much longer, and she seemed small. Yaz remembered her first aid training and checked her breathing, thankfully her hearts were beating, but slower than normal.

“Doctor it’s okay, I’m right here okay”. Yaz said aloud, trying to reassure herself as well.

Suddenly she heard an alarm blaring out in the corridor, Yaz could hear the marching of the Judoon getting closer. Yaz grabbed the doctor under her arms, sitting her up properly. Yaz tried not to cringe at how light and bony she felt. Yaz fumbled as she tried to find the button on the Vortex Manipulator. Just as the Judoon entered the cell, Yaz found the button and pressed it as hard as she could. 

Again she felt her soul pixelate as she got transported hopefully back to the Tardis. As everything seemed to level out Yaz peeked an eye open and to her relief saw she was back in the Console room. The crystals seemed a bit brighter, but still not their usual honey glow. Yaz couldn’t believe it, she’d done it. The Doctor was back.


	2. Put back together, Piece by Piece

Yaz felt the cool floor of the Tardis and slowly opened her eyes she took a moment to get her bearings. She heard it a quiet groan and quickly snapped her head round to the source of the sound, it was the doctor, her doctor. Yaz scrambled over and hugged her as tight as she could as she held the doctor close she realised they'd never touched each other like this before, but she was just so overwhelmed seeing the doctor in front of her eyes. In the better lighting of the Tardis she was able to see just how tired and small she looks, she looked like she haven't had proper food or wash in weeks enter even though her eyes shut she looked exhausted. Yaz was battling elation at seeing her again, the joy of holding her, and the sadness that the Doctor was in this state. But Yaz decided now wasn’t the time for this, she had to help the doctor, just as the Doctor would do for her. Yaz took a deep breath and peeled herself away from the doctor.

“Doctor, we did it. You’re safe, you’re back in the Tardis” Yaz carefully explained to the sleeping woman, but still she didn’t respond, other than her face wincing and those eyebrows coming together.  
Yaz spent a while trying to rouse her, but still she lay silent. Instead Yaz turned to the Tardis.

“What do I do now, what does the Doctor need?” Yaz prayed the Tardis had some more miracles in her compartments somewhere. Instead a simple message came up onto the screen. 

REST.

Yaz waited for the rest of the message, or for the tardis to elaborate, yet nothing came. Yaz looked deep around and felt alone again, despite the sentient machine communicating the words to her. ‘I can’t do this, I don’t know how to look after someone like this.’ Yaz’s thoughts began turn into anxieties. So she did her best to sweep them aside and turned back into brave Yaz, she had to be.

She did her best to help the Doctor stand but her legs were so weak, and she wasn’t able to understand Yazs words of support so it meant Yaz almost carried her to the doors of the Tardis. As she opened the doors, the bright light and sounds of Sheffield had greeted her just were she had left, she peeked at her watch and saw it had only been a few minutes since she entered. ‘It seems the Tardis is better at travelling without the Doctor’ Yaz pondered, but she would never tell the Doctor that. 

Yaz was grateful for keeping up with her police training as dragged the Doctor towards her block of flats, being as careful as she could as she pulled her into the lift. As the doors closed Yaz suddenly thought, ‘How am I going to explain this? My family haven’t seen the Doctor in months and I suddenly bring her home in this state’. She didn’t have long to be worried about that as the doors opened again and she carried the Doctor to her front door. She didn’t have a free hand to get her keys so she kicked the door with her trainers and waited. Eventually the door opened and her mum stared back at her. It took less than a second for Najia to see her daughter was struggling to hold up her strange friend, who she still thought was more than a friend. She quickly helped hold the Doctor up.

“Yasmin! What happened to your Doctor?” Najia called out as she helped hold up the limp woman.

“Not now mum! Help me put her on my bed.” Yaz struggled out, despite being fit her arms were beginning to ache.

Najia simply nodded and helped her make their way through the lounge and into Yaz’s bedroom. They carefully lowered her onto the bed, where Yaz leant in to check the Doctor was still breathing while Najia stood back and watched the scene in front of her. She had a million questions to ask her daughter, but her main thought was this was the most alive she had been in months. Yaz had been very quiet and upset, then she threw herself into her work so much than Najia, nor anyone, had been able to talk to her and find out why. ‘It would appear this is why’ Najia thought to herself.

“She looks like she needs a wash and some good food in her my love.” She said as she carefully stepped closer toward her daughter who was still kneeling next to the sleeping woman. 

“I-I don’t really know how. She’s so sleepy.” Yaz replied, still holding the doctors hand despite having finished checking her pulse.

“I can help, if you want?” Najia asked hopefully, she didn’t know that much about the Doctor other than she had saved them when those big spiders took over the hotel, but she knew the Doctor was clearly important to her daughter and that is more than enough for Najia. Yaz nodded and remained next to the doctor.

Najia tried to hide her delight and busied herself getting a bowl of warm soapy water, towels and a pair of pyjamas ready. She was grateful no one else was home and returned to Yaz’s bedroom where she put the items down and locked the door. As she looked at Yaz she gave her a reassuring nod. 

“ok Doctor it's me Najia… Yaz’s mum. We’re just going to give you a quick wash and help you get changed into a clean pair of clothes”. She spoke out loud to try reassure both the doctor and Yaz, who looked uncomfortable but nodded along. Najia passed the warm flannel to Yaz who set to work washing away the dirt, grime, and what looked like blood from her face. Then carefully drying her face with the towels. The doctor didn’t stir, she just lay still, breathing slowly. They carefully sat the doctor up and removed her coat, which was disgusting. Then they removed her tops which was also dirty. Yaz did her best to look away as she felt she shouldn’t be looking at the Doctor who she cared for so much, when she was in this state. Najia covered her chest with a spare towel and gave Yaz the flannel to wash the Doctors arms and hands. Yaz’s worry grew and grew as she looked at the coating of blood and bruises covering her knuckles, ‘Has the Doctor been fighting, the doctor would never punch someone… Unless she was cornered’ Yaz thought to herself. Najia realised Yaz was feeling uncomfortable to did the Doctors chest and abdomen herself, though they had both seen how the Doctors ribbed showed and how skinny she was. 

They quickly put the clean pyjama top on the doctor to cover her. Then they set to work on removing the Doctors boots, socks and trousers. Again they both saw how skinny and malnourished the Doctor was as they cleaned the Doctors legs, talking to her the whole time as if she could hear them. Perhaps she could, but the only response from her was occasional groaning when they moved the Doctor to wash her. There was a silent agreement to leave the doctors underwear alone, as that was too much. Her strange boxers with minions on were left as they were. They put the matching pyjama bottoms on and helped the Doctor under the duvet. Only then, when the doctor was in bed, did Yaz let out the breath she had been holding. She helped her mum tidy up, taking longer than humanly possible to empty the mountain of items that were in the Doctors pockets so it and her clothes could be washed. 

“Right, While the Doctor is having a sleep I think you and me should have a cup of tea, and you can tell me what happened.” Najia told her as empathetically as possible.

Then Yaz couldn’t hold back any longer, she burst into a fit of tears and allowed her mum to hug her as she cried away everything that had happened in the last hour, the last 3 months, and how she has felt since first meeting the Doctor. Her life was so much better, but also it hurt. It hurt leaving the Doctor, and it hurt even more seeing the best person she’d ever met being so vulnerable and sleeping in her bed. Together they sat down at the table and Yaz explained nearly everything about the Doctor to her mum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating, thank you for the kind comments.


	3. Whole Again

Yaz sat down at the living room table with her mum sat next to her, quietly nursing her cup of tea and desperately trying to get her brain to slow down and comprehend what had happened since the end of her shift. Thankfully Najia was patient and sat waiting for her daughter to talk.

“Thanks for helping me mum. I don’t think I could have done that without you”. 

“Don’t worry about that, I know how much your Doctor means to you.” Najia said with a small smile, keeping her voice as calm as possible. “I just want to know what happened to her. The last time I saw her she was fine! Now… I barely recognised her when you brought her in.” 

Yaz remained quiet and found her cold cup of tea incredibly interesting.

“Please Yaz, don’t shut me out. You can tell me anything, especially after what happened with them big spiders!” Najia reached out a tentative hand, and was relieved when it was returned with a small squeeze.

“Okay. But you have to promise not to freak out, and to be honest even I don’t know exactly what happened to the doctor.” Najia nodded eagerly and Yaz took a deep breath before elaborating. “Well I’ve been travelling with the Doctor for a while in her spaceship, it’s called a TARDIS, visiting planets and in time”.

Yaz paused for a breath and looked up at her mum expecting her to look at her like she has 2 heads, but instead she just nodded and waited for her to continue.

“We’ve seen and done amazing things, but when I last saw the Doctor she was sacrificing herself to save the galaxy. I hadn’t heard from her for months. I didn’t think she was dead, but I didn’t know where she was or how to contact her, but Graham and Ryan thought… OH MY GOD! Graham and Ryan! I need to let them know she’s back!” 

Yaz quickly pulls out her phone and sends a text message to the Fam WhatApp group. Within seconds Ryan was calling her back.

“Yaz?!” Ryan half screams down the phone.

“Ryan, she’s back! She’s really back! She’s sleeping in my bed at the moment.” Yaz never thought she’d felt happiness like this.

“Grahams jumping around the living room at the moment… Where was she? Is she ok? Do you need anything?” Ryan rails off quickly. Yaz just smiles at her friend and his concern.

“She isn’t so good at the moment. She’ll be fine but the TARDIS said she needs to rest. She was in a Judoon Prison, she’d been there a while though..” Yaz explains and looks up to see her mum’s eyes widen in worry and squeeze her daughters hand again.

“Oh mate. I’m sorry. Seriously though, if you need anything let us know.”

“Thanks Ryan, I’ll talk to you later”. She hangs up her mobile and then gives her mum a small smile. “Well I guess you heard all of that..”

“A prison? Why was the Doctor in prison?” Najia asks, worrying about this mysterious person sleeping in her daughter bedroom.

“I dunno mum.” Yaz answers honestly. “I’m just so glad she’s back.

“So am I too. I know how much it upset you these last few months… How much you care about her”. 

Yaz was stumped, this felt too much to talk to her mum about how she feels for the Doctor. The gorgeous, funny, clumsy and kind Doctor.

“It’s okay, I understand. As long as you’re happy, and you’re safe, then I don’t care who you date.” She smiled at her daughter and did her best to convey how much she cares for her by pulling her into a gentle hug. Yaz felt tears fill the brim of her eyes and leaned into the comfort and blinked away any fears about her mum rejecting the Doctor.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

That night was spent with Yaz sleeping on the Sofa and checking the Doctor every half an hour, unable to sleep without knowing she’s okay. By about 3AM Yaz gave in and slept next to the Doctor, careful not to disturb her, or accidently roll over on her. It wasn’t until midmorning the next day when the finally started waking up. Yaz quickly sat up and checked the doctor over, she seemed to look better and in not so much pain.

“Doctor, its me, Yaz. Can you hear me?” Yaz asked as she leant over the doctor gently holding her upper arm.

“Yaz? What you doin’ here?” The doctor half slurred as she blinked her eyes open and squinted at the beautiful human in front of her.

“You’re on earth, in my flat. It’s okay.” The doctor sat up and blearily looked around the room and nodded, mainly to herself. “The TARDIS helped, as well as a secret Vortex Manipulator from Jack. Doctor, what happened?” 

It took the Doctor a minute to absorb all the information, especially Jacks little gift, and she lay back against the soft pillows that smelt so sweetly like Yaz.

“Judoon Prison, some misunderstanding I think. Dunno to be honest.” The Doctor mumbled, desperately trying to avoid this conversation and how everything will change when they learn about her past.

“Doctor please.” Yaz called out, but still the Doctor lay looking away from her, clearly not wanting to tell Yaz the truth. She sighed and made to stand and leave her alone, but a small tug pulled her back.

“Thank you Yaz, for saving me.” She whispered out quietly as she closed her eyes again and allowed sleep to pull her back. Yaz simply lifted her hand and kissed it.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / // / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

The next 3 days was spent with Yaz using her annual leave so she could be near the Doctor, who spent her time sleeping, eating concerning amounts of custard creams and lying silently looking out the bedroom window. Yaz knew how much solitary confinement could affect someone, let alone the hyperactive alien she loves. She simply sat with her and did her best to prompt the doctor out of bed. Graham and Ryan did come visit, but that mainly consisted of simple answers from the doctor who looked visibly uncomfortable at the onslaught of questions, she knew she had to answer them but didn’t know how. What a foolish old alien she really was.

Yaz had already used most of her annual leave up and had to return to work later in the week. She had never known a day could drag so much, she had made sure her family called her if anything was wrong and found herself checking her phone constantly throughout the day and even contemplated calling just to hear her voice. But instead she resisted and made her way through her shift. As she opened the door she was met with the homely smells of her dads cooking and her family arguing about something pointless as usual, but since having the doctor back she felt alive again. She made her way into her bedroom and was shocked to see her bed empty. ‘She wouldn’t just leave would she? Have the Judoon come back’ Yaz’s thoughts spiralled and she quickly threw her stuff down and checked the other side of the bed. Here she found the Doctor laid uncomfortably on her side, half stuck under the bed.

“Doctor! Are you okay?” Yaz quickly checked her over, she seemed fine. She helped sit the doctor up so she was leaning against the bed.

“I’m fine” She grumbled out groggily, doing her best to stand but struggling pretty miserably. Yaz did her best not to be annoyed at the stubborn women and instead offered her a hand.

“I know, but please let me help Doctor, just while you’re recovering” The Doctor looked up at her and felt her hearts break at how selfish she had been towards the kind human. She nodded and allowed the doctor to help her up to sit properly on the bed. Once she was comfortable Yaz built up the confidence to slide her hand into the Doctors, she thinks about how perfectly they slide together, how they fit together so well.

“I’m not going to pretend to understand what you went though, but I care for you, so much. Please let me in Doctor” Yaz looks down at their hands and sees the Doctor absent mindedly running her thumb across the back of her hand. They sit in silence like this for a while until the Doctor leans against Yaz’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Yaz, I’ve not been fair to you, any of you.” The doctor takes a breath and looks up at Yaz “The Master told me about my past that had been stolen from me, I don’t know if I can talk about it yet, but I will I promise. I was able to escape Gallifrey thanks to Ko Sharmus, but then the Judoon took me to that cell. I tried my best to escape but I couldn’t. I’m not sure how long I was in there, but it must be about 3 years… I missed you all so much, especially you Yaz. Thinking about you was the only think that kept me sane.” The Doctor searches Yaz’s eyes for the confirmation she feels the same way about her.

Yaz felt her heart burst with joy at the Doctors admission and wrapped an arm around her to pull her closer. 

“I thought about you every since you walked out that room. What I should have said before you left. That I love you Doctor.” Yaz didn’t realise she’d started crying until she feels a tear drop onto her jeans.

The Doctor grins and her eyes crinkle up as she bring her hand to the back of Yaz’s neck to pull her closer as she leans in. Their lips collide with gorgeous salty tears as Yaz eagerly responds to the kiss. She is vaguely aware of the Doctor running her fingers through the back of her hair. Time seems to have stopped as they finally are able to show each other their feelings with their passion overflowing.

Finally Yaz has to break the kiss, desperate for air. She brings her fingers to the Doctors tired face and wipes away her tears that fell during their intimate kiss. Yet the Doctor is chuckling and seems more alive than she’d ever seen her.

“Yasmin Khan, you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. What did I do to deserve you.” The Doctor whispers.

Yaz giggles and rest her forehead against the Doctor, blissed out and overjoyed.

“I promise Doctor, I will never leave you. I’m right here, we will get through this, together” Yaz holds her tighter and soaks up her scent she had missed so much. She been wanting to hug the Doctor for so long but had never been brave enough, now she curses her past self for depriving her of the incredible way the doctor feels against her, how it makes her feel complete.

They enjoy each other company like that for a while until a quiet and awkward voice interrupts them “Do you still want to travel with me?” 

It throws Yaz slightly, and she leans back to meet the doctors anxious eyes. “What! Of course, I still want to travel with you, so do Graham and Ryan.”  
The doctor seems to visibly relax at this. “And, if it’s alright with you, I want to travel alongside you, as your girlfriend.” Yaz tenderly rubs the Doctors hands and smiles gingerly, she couldn’t believe how forward she was being but couldn’t stop herself.

“As it together together?” The Doctor asks excitedly. 

Yaz nods back equally and barely has a moment to prepare before the Doctor has leapt on her and covering her mouth with her own in another kiss as they began the next journey in their lives together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, this is the final chapter of this fic. I hope you enjoyed and I look forward to writing some more thasmin fics

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction on this site so feedback is appreciated. This is basically the main story I have been thinking about since March and now I have time I am planning on writing them out. I love Thasmin and hope you enjoy my stories :)


End file.
